We were at one of the most beautiful, God-glorifying weddings we've ever attended in our 23 and a half years of marriage. I cried, as I usually do at weddings. Even though I've heard the likening of marriage to Jesus' relationship with the church, I think that for the first time it really sunk in. And I realized once again the incredible blessing of being married to my husband. Imperfect human that he may be, today I realized that he's always understood his role in our marriage much better than I have ever understood mine. He's a remarkable man and I do not deserve him.

God is constantly opening my eyes and heart to learn more about my relationship with him and with others around me. I am truly grateful.

My husband directs an orchestra here in the Denver area and they are performing a Sept 11 Memorial Concert this afternoon. They'll be playing Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings"—a piece that always makes me weep whenever I hear it. I'll be attending the concert, of course, and I honestly don't know if my heart will be able to bear it.

Our kids were 8 and 9 years old on September 11, 2001. I remember that my son had just had his 8th birthday, but we had postponed the celebration we had planned the weekend before because of bad weather (it was a pool party). It was our first year back living in Colorado after being gone for 10 years, and it was also our first year of homeschooling.  I still have the world history books we were using back then—ironically our focus at the time was the Middle East. On his way out the door to go to work, my husband said that he'd heard on the radio something about a plane flying into one of the Twin Towers in New York. We both assumed that it was a small private plane, and wondered how in the world any pilot could be so incompetent.

My husband left, the radio was turned off and the kids and I began our day. Later that morning, our church choir director called to cancel the meeting I was to have with him that evening. Without going into detail, he said something about a special prayer service that our pastor decided to hold that night and he needed to be a part of that. I still didn't have any idea what was going on, and continued with the lessons with the kids. Shortly after that, my husband called and very somberly asked if I had been listening to the news. Since we had been doing school all day, I said no, of course not. He told me to turn on the  TV because the plane he had told me about this morning was actually a commercial airline that had been hijacked and it looked as if the US was under attack. I got off the phone and ran downstairs and switched on the TV. Instantly, I was drawn into the images of the billowing smoke, crumbling buildings, people running and screaming and visibly stunned and shaken reporters on the news. I stood there watching, stupefied and disbelieving. Eventually, I quickly ran back up the stairs, grabbed both kids and and we sat on the couch as I hugged them tightly and wept. My daughter remembers me saying something about the attacks as I ran up the stairs, and that it scared her. We continued to sit there and I prayed aloud with tears streaming down my face. School was over for the day.

I sit here now, remembering, again with tears streaming down my face.

"Earnshaw was not to be civilized with a wish, and my young lady was no philosopher, and no paragon of patience; but both their minds tending to the same point - one loving and desiring to esteem, and the other loving and desiring to be esteemed - they contrived in the end to reach it." -Emily Bronte, from Wuthering Heights

I finally finished a torturous reading of Wuthering Heights recently. Torturous because I didn't know if I could handle any more of the cruel, twisted, jealous actions by Heathcliff, or the strange, selfish and over-wrought actions by Catherine for very much longer. But I'm glad I read it. I especially liked this (above) quote.

"Second" Christmas

Today, our family drives up to see my husband's mom. We were originally going to see her during the actual Christmas weekend, but we thought my sister was going to come out with her family from Dallas. My sister works for an airline company and gets free (standby) flying privileges. Unfortunately, because of all the blizzards on both coasts, too many passengers going to Denver got re-routed through Dallas, and they were never able to get a flight. Bummer.

But it's okay. My mother-in-law had back surgery last week and is kind of laid up, and she's glad we'll be coming to see her. So we're taking all our bags, Christmas presents, and the dog with us on a 3-hour drive to Wheatland, Wyoming in my new kiwi green Hyundai Tucson. With our 16-year-old son driving because he needs the driving hours toward getting his license. Nervous? What? Me???

The first

This is my first attempt at blogging/journaling online. If you stumble upon this blog, welcome. I don't promise eloquent or even exciting prose. My thoughts are often rambling and this blog may turn out that way as I sort through all the different things that I ponder. Life is so full. Especially for one with such a petite mind as mine.